The Wall
Canada gives up and begins to construct a border wall.
In an effort to keep criminals, rapists, drug lords, gun runners, and pet eating Americans out of their country, Canadian officials have decided to build a wall between their country and the United States.
Trudeau has stated that, “This will protect good, god fearing Canadians from the horror of having to deal with the flood of borderline psychos, sociopaths and the mentally deficient that we assume will be flooding north after the person, and I use that term loosely, they elected destroys their lives. We fully intend to not only erect a wall, but to make the Americans pay for it.”
This will a Canada for Canadians. (T-shirts available on Amazon)
“Canada has a lot of shit that the Americans really want like maple syrup, whiskey, oil, lumber, cars, and, well, I’m sure there are others that’s just a short list. Let’s see how those alcoholics in their F-150s feel when they’re forced to drink the swill that passes for whisky from Kentucky, and we’ll see how the spineless liberals feel when they can’t find hemp hearts to put in their oatmeal, and don’t even get me started on what will happen when they have to put Mrs. Butterworth’s syrup on their pancakes. I’d pay to see that.” Said Trudeau.
The Prime Minister also told our reporter that Canada was in negotiations with Mexico and China to, basically, make the U.S. a flyover country.
Imagine their shock when they go into REI and find that all their outdoor gear comes from China, or the hardware store to find that all their tools come from somewhere else.
Imagine the state they will be reduced to when they go into restaurants and find that all the cooks and busboys have left, or when they discover that they will have to do their own yard work, clean their own houses, take care of their own children, pick their own vegetables, and slaughter their own meat.
An unnamed source told us that if you thought that country was fucked up before, what’s coming for them will make today look like a picnic.
Worldwide the tariffs suggested by the U.S. has the entirety of the non-U.S. governments up in arms and if the world has any sense at all they will just tell the United States to fuck off.
“As the Confluence of Countries gains more power we will be encouraging any country that owes the United States money to default and refuse to pay which will send the lower 48 into a death spiral.” Said a Canadian official.
Trudeau has also suggested that if the United States continues on it’s current path that Canada will annex Alaska and China will be offerred aid and financial support to take over Hawaii.
“These yokels have no idea of the magnitude of the storm that’s coming and they will live to regret, what amounts to, a very bad decision on their part. We will have the last laugh.”
Nice article! Can we request to be annexed to Canada? It's been discussed here in Washington state, as we are right on the border, and we, in Washington State (not to be confused with the other washington (DC) "running" the country) really get along with Canadians.
Too bad that's a fantasy. Would be nice if Trudeau or any of his wannabe successors would show some backbone! Instead it's "How can we placate Trump enough so he won't punish us?" They don't seem to get what most of us learned in grade school: the more you give in to a bully, the more he will demand. He doesn't even give a shit about his own people, let alone us Canadians. The idea of Canada becoming a US state is horrifying. I was born in the US and still have family there, but to me it's the Evil Empire. I will never go back. If he annexes us I will flee to a third world country.